this is for friends of mine like...Brandon, and maybe David... I didn' t read it so I can't rate it, but I think they might like it, and so would you, and I promise, this is my LAST entry for today probably, if I don't go to sleep early that is...
1. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
2. You step out of your room and realize that your parents have
moved and you don't have a clue as to when it happened.
3. Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to go from top to bottom.
4. Your nightmares are in HTML and GIFS.
5. You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling,
like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
6. You start introducing yourself as "Jim at net dot com"
7. Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you
see a new WWW site address on TV.
8. You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can
hear if new e-mail arrives.
9. Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you
of what she looks like.
10. All of your friends have an @ in their names.
11. When looking at a web page full of someone else's links, you
notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.
12. Your dog has its own home page.
13. You can't call your mother... She doesn't have a modem.
14. You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check
it again.
15. Your phone bill is a heavy as a brick.
16. You write your homework in HTML and give your instructor the
URL.
17. You don't know the sex of three of your closest friends,
because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to
ask.
18. Your husband tells you that he has had the beard for 2
months.
19. You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and
check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
20. You tell the kids they can't use the computer because
"Daddy's got work to do" -- even though you don't have a job.
21. You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and
mouse.
22. Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to
bed."
23. You get a tattoo that says "This body best viewed with
Netscape 3.0 or higher."
24. You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your
ISP... because you never log off. 25. The last girl you picked
up was only a GIF.
26. You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the
chair in front of your computer with a toilet.
27. Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...
so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so
the two of you can chat.
28. As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain
road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.
Thursday, January 30, 2003
This joke was...well let's see, it was totally meant for the kids that could think it up, and adults would find it to where they couldn't understand it... 4 out of 10
Be sure you lock your doors and windows at home.
It was reported in the news that a man was found murdered in his
home over the weekend. Detectives at the scene found the man face
down in his bath tub.
The tub had been filled with milk and corn flakes, and a banana
was sticking out of his butt.
Police suspect a cereal killer.
Be sure you lock your doors and windows at home.
It was reported in the news that a man was found murdered in his
home over the weekend. Detectives at the scene found the man face
down in his bath tub.
The tub had been filled with milk and corn flakes, and a banana
was sticking out of his butt.
Police suspect a cereal killer.
I found another joke, this one made me almost cry laughing, since it was a little more disturbing than the other, I'd rate it a 9 out of 10:
Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw
a little girl coming towards him, so he covered himself with the
newspaper he was reading. The girl came up to him and asked "What
do you have under the newspaper, mister?"
"A bird," the guy replied. The little girl walked away and the
guy fell asleep.
When he woke up, he was in a hospital in tremendous pain. When
the Police asked him what happened, the guy replied, "I don't
know. I was lying on the beach, this girl asked me about my
privates, and the next thing I know is I'm here."
Police went back to the beach, found the girl, and asked her
"What did you do to that naked fellow?"
After a little pause, the girl replied, "To him? Nothing. I was
playing with the bird and it spit on me, so I broke its neck,
cracked its eggs, and set its nest on fire."
Once upon a time, there was a guy sunbathing in the nude. He saw
a little girl coming towards him, so he covered himself with the
newspaper he was reading. The girl came up to him and asked "What
do you have under the newspaper, mister?"
"A bird," the guy replied. The little girl walked away and the
guy fell asleep.
When he woke up, he was in a hospital in tremendous pain. When
the Police asked him what happened, the guy replied, "I don't
know. I was lying on the beach, this girl asked me about my
privates, and the next thing I know is I'm here."
Police went back to the beach, found the girl, and asked her
"What did you do to that naked fellow?"
After a little pause, the girl replied, "To him? Nothing. I was
playing with the bird and it spit on me, so I broke its neck,
cracked its eggs, and set its nest on fire."
i thought I'd share something before I leave class, I find this DISTURBINGLY funny, so here you guys go:
A man was sitting on a plane reading a book. A few minutes later
he ran up to the pilot and said, "Help! Help! I dropped my
favorite book out of the plane! Can you please stop it?"
"No, no, I am not stopping this plane for a book.", the pilot
replied.
Later another man ran up to the pilot and asked, "Can please land
the plane? I dropped my lucky baseball."
"No, I will not land the plane for a baseball!!!"
A third man had dropped a gernade out of the plane. He quick ran
up the the pilot and started yelling, "Stop, stop, I lost my
gern-"
"Alright, Alright!", he interupts. "I will land the plane."
When the pilot got out he saw two little boys crying. He asked
them what was the matter, they replied something fell out of the
sky and landed on them. One was a book and the other a baseball.
A third boy came along and was laughing. The pilot asked, "What
are you laughing about?"
"I farted and my house blew up!"
A man was sitting on a plane reading a book. A few minutes later
he ran up to the pilot and said, "Help! Help! I dropped my
favorite book out of the plane! Can you please stop it?"
"No, no, I am not stopping this plane for a book.", the pilot
replied.
Later another man ran up to the pilot and asked, "Can please land
the plane? I dropped my lucky baseball."
"No, I will not land the plane for a baseball!!!"
A third man had dropped a gernade out of the plane. He quick ran
up the the pilot and started yelling, "Stop, stop, I lost my
gern-"
"Alright, Alright!", he interupts. "I will land the plane."
When the pilot got out he saw two little boys crying. He asked
them what was the matter, they replied something fell out of the
sky and landed on them. One was a book and the other a baseball.
A third boy came along and was laughing. The pilot asked, "What
are you laughing about?"
"I farted and my house blew up!"
Hiya peeps who are reading this. I'm bored right now, like you needed to know that but I felt like you did so I just did. (I know that was very confusling, but hey I'm confusling!) Someone's playing Faith Hill's new cd, and it's on my favorite cd rite now. :). MAN the school's pizza is gross, but what's new? It's always dripping w/ grease and it's all orangish-red, which REALLY makes it grosser, why couldn't it just be clear? OH wait, just because of the pepperoni of course. GRR, I hate being the 'little one' to get picked on all the time, especially since I'm short. Not that I could pass for a TOTAL miget because there are people shorter than me, only a select few though.
Today during lunch my friend David decided to play w/ my hair saying it "Turned him on" so I told Jeremy that HIS hair turned David on and David goes "I don't swing that way, but I know Nina does" and I was like WHAT?! because I thought he was saying something ELSE (if some people know what I mean). OKIES, well I'm gonna go because I'm really bored, so therefore, I'm going to..."The place where you go to when you're bored!".
Today during lunch my friend David decided to play w/ my hair saying it "Turned him on" so I told Jeremy that HIS hair turned David on and David goes "I don't swing that way, but I know Nina does" and I was like WHAT?! because I thought he was saying something ELSE (if some people know what I mean). OKIES, well I'm gonna go because I'm really bored, so therefore, I'm going to..."The place where you go to when you're bored!".
Wednesday, January 29, 2003
Hey I'm just here rite now, messing around w/ the blog while i'm at school.
Tiny bit of news today:
My teacher now thinks I'm "too smart" for her class. Today and for the past few days, I've been finishing my work first in class, no intentions, just because the work is easy. Well today I turn in my work and the teacher calls me up and goes "You don't belong in this class do you"... and I just stared at her, and she said "How come you didn't sign up for a Reading Honors class?" and I shrugged, then "Well I think you should go into an honors class, because this class is just too easy for you it seems. Do you have an honors class?", "yes", "what is it?", "Biology". "Well you know there is a Reading honors class next door... Would you want to try that out for about a week, see how that goes?" ..." I don't know... I guess?", "OK, starting next Monday we'll see if we can get you into that class, I'll talk to the teacher this week" "OKAY". Then of course I sit down. But the nerve that she should suggest me going into Reading honors?! I'm not smart, it's just all this stuff we're doing is EASY. Besides, I can only stand one honors class a semester, I learned that last semester of the school year... *no comment*. To make matters worse, this teacher I will end up going into her class... She hates me! One time while waiting outside for 3rd lunch shift to start, I had been playing around and kicked my shoe at this one guy, we were really bored. She came out and told me in an irritated voice "I am trying to teach a class here, would you PLEASE settle down?!". So of course I did. Then 2 months ago my mom asked me if I had this one teacher, and I go no why? and she goes "because she said she knew you and goes 'That's your daughter?' when she was in my office, she said it like she knew you, and really wasn't fond of you"... I told mom the whole story, and she goes "NO WONDER". So truly, I'm not looking forward to this shift in classes, and I should just tell the teacher that, maybe she'll understand, I should tell her my mind can only process so much at a time and not go into another honors class, I'm probably, WITHOUT A DOUBT, going to fail my Biology Honors class!.. OKIES, well i better go, I said too much, CIAO
Tiny bit of news today:
My teacher now thinks I'm "too smart" for her class. Today and for the past few days, I've been finishing my work first in class, no intentions, just because the work is easy. Well today I turn in my work and the teacher calls me up and goes "You don't belong in this class do you"... and I just stared at her, and she said "How come you didn't sign up for a Reading Honors class?" and I shrugged, then "Well I think you should go into an honors class, because this class is just too easy for you it seems. Do you have an honors class?", "yes", "what is it?", "Biology". "Well you know there is a Reading honors class next door... Would you want to try that out for about a week, see how that goes?" ..." I don't know... I guess?", "OK, starting next Monday we'll see if we can get you into that class, I'll talk to the teacher this week" "OKAY". Then of course I sit down. But the nerve that she should suggest me going into Reading honors?! I'm not smart, it's just all this stuff we're doing is EASY. Besides, I can only stand one honors class a semester, I learned that last semester of the school year... *no comment*. To make matters worse, this teacher I will end up going into her class... She hates me! One time while waiting outside for 3rd lunch shift to start, I had been playing around and kicked my shoe at this one guy, we were really bored. She came out and told me in an irritated voice "I am trying to teach a class here, would you PLEASE settle down?!". So of course I did. Then 2 months ago my mom asked me if I had this one teacher, and I go no why? and she goes "because she said she knew you and goes 'That's your daughter?' when she was in my office, she said it like she knew you, and really wasn't fond of you"... I told mom the whole story, and she goes "NO WONDER". So truly, I'm not looking forward to this shift in classes, and I should just tell the teacher that, maybe she'll understand, I should tell her my mind can only process so much at a time and not go into another honors class, I'm probably, WITHOUT A DOUBT, going to fail my Biology Honors class!.. OKIES, well i better go, I said too much, CIAO
9:37 PM 1/28/2003
To start off my new journal/news website... I must actually say Brandon...I'm sorry I'm taking the idea from you, I just can't think of what to do w/ this...so I'm just going to make this a journal.
Starting things off, I'll just go w/ the thing that REALLY annoyed me today:
I called my friend (not to be named, for I don't know if he'd get mad.) I had asked him about his computer saying about all the phone numbers on the computer and stuff saying "..Glad your computer messed up that time while I was giving you my address, now u don't know where I live". He cut me off and said that everything on his computer was GONE. I asked why and stuff, and he said that the one time his SIBLING (no specifics) downloaded some *"unnecessary stuff"* (get the picture?), that him and his brother-in-law never got around to deleting all the stuff. So when his step-grandparents came to move in w/ them for a few weeks, and had to stay in the computer room, they went on the computer (before saying they didn't want it in the room) and went and looked at files and stuff, and found all the *"unnecessary stuff"* that the SIBLING had downloaded. Well, they mentioned it at dinner one night, and my friend was like "uh huh, ok" and kept on eating... So they decided to delete EVERYTHING on the computer that was downloaded, EVEN the phone numbers and stuff on the address book. His mom and step-dad told him he couldn't download anything (music games and stuff) and they even deleted Kazaa all together.
I think it's stupid, because HELLO they should make it to where Kazaa and all those "music and PIC" systems to where it's not as EASILY accessible for kids about 11-12 (how old SIBLING is), to download porn and stuff. It's pretty stupid that one person should get punished for one SIBLING's actions. When the parents don't even know the ENTIRE TRUTH. WHich I must add has happened to me, and I HATE IT!
On a happier note (and funny), today while walking home, I learned MY BEST FRIEND does not know the difference in a boy and girl cat... AS IN not knowing how to tell between a boy and a girl. While we were walking home, we heard this cat meowing REALLY loud and so I saw the cat and go "here kitty kitty" and it ran toward me. I was going to pet it and leave it, but then I saw that it was a CROSSED-Eyed cat, which I cannot feel anything but sympathy for a cat w/ cross-eyes for I don't know what reason. The cat runs up to my friend and she's like "Get the **** away from me, go away, SHOO" so like the cat runs in front of us... (before this all came up, I had drank a WHOLE 20 oz. D.P. in 5 minutes) the cat...well... let's just say "big balls?" was running and I saw THOSE, and started laughing, and Erica was like WHAT?! and I couldn't quit laughing, I was on the verge of crying and falling over. Then she saw what I saw and goes asking "What's that?!" and kept on asking, but everytime I tried answering, I just started laughing again. Then finally when the cat went away and we were near the corner of the street, I go "BIG BALLS!" and she goes "Those what those were?!" so I started laughing again, and she was laughing, and goes "I was about to say... Are those, what I think they are?".
OKAY so my journal on it's first day was kinda long, and probably REALLY BORING, don't worry, it won't be as long as this, I promise, so as they say in Spanish "Hasta Luego!" (I'm just stupid for adding that, don't ask me why I added that!)
To start off my new journal/news website... I must actually say Brandon...I'm sorry I'm taking the idea from you, I just can't think of what to do w/ this...so I'm just going to make this a journal.
Starting things off, I'll just go w/ the thing that REALLY annoyed me today:
I called my friend (not to be named, for I don't know if he'd get mad.) I had asked him about his computer saying about all the phone numbers on the computer and stuff saying "..Glad your computer messed up that time while I was giving you my address, now u don't know where I live". He cut me off and said that everything on his computer was GONE. I asked why and stuff, and he said that the one time his SIBLING (no specifics) downloaded some *"unnecessary stuff"* (get the picture?), that him and his brother-in-law never got around to deleting all the stuff. So when his step-grandparents came to move in w/ them for a few weeks, and had to stay in the computer room, they went on the computer (before saying they didn't want it in the room) and went and looked at files and stuff, and found all the *"unnecessary stuff"* that the SIBLING had downloaded. Well, they mentioned it at dinner one night, and my friend was like "uh huh, ok" and kept on eating... So they decided to delete EVERYTHING on the computer that was downloaded, EVEN the phone numbers and stuff on the address book. His mom and step-dad told him he couldn't download anything (music games and stuff) and they even deleted Kazaa all together.
I think it's stupid, because HELLO they should make it to where Kazaa and all those "music and PIC" systems to where it's not as EASILY accessible for kids about 11-12 (how old SIBLING is), to download porn and stuff. It's pretty stupid that one person should get punished for one SIBLING's actions. When the parents don't even know the ENTIRE TRUTH. WHich I must add has happened to me, and I HATE IT!
On a happier note (and funny), today while walking home, I learned MY BEST FRIEND does not know the difference in a boy and girl cat... AS IN not knowing how to tell between a boy and a girl. While we were walking home, we heard this cat meowing REALLY loud and so I saw the cat and go "here kitty kitty" and it ran toward me. I was going to pet it and leave it, but then I saw that it was a CROSSED-Eyed cat, which I cannot feel anything but sympathy for a cat w/ cross-eyes for I don't know what reason. The cat runs up to my friend and she's like "Get the **** away from me, go away, SHOO" so like the cat runs in front of us... (before this all came up, I had drank a WHOLE 20 oz. D.P. in 5 minutes) the cat...well... let's just say "big balls?" was running and I saw THOSE, and started laughing, and Erica was like WHAT?! and I couldn't quit laughing, I was on the verge of crying and falling over. Then she saw what I saw and goes asking "What's that?!" and kept on asking, but everytime I tried answering, I just started laughing again. Then finally when the cat went away and we were near the corner of the street, I go "BIG BALLS!" and she goes "Those what those were?!" so I started laughing again, and she was laughing, and goes "I was about to say... Are those, what I think they are?".
OKAY so my journal on it's first day was kinda long, and probably REALLY BORING, don't worry, it won't be as long as this, I promise, so as they say in Spanish "Hasta Luego!" (I'm just stupid for adding that, don't ask me why I added that!)